Many of us have a desire for a universal guide that tells us what to look for when we want to hook up with someone, but there are no rules or instructions as it relates to post hookup etiquette. Why? Well, everyone has their own style and what might appear normal or basic to one person might just not be the same for another. In fact, something that someone else does might be repulsive to someone else. One person's trash can be another person's treasure. That is just how it is in life. Sometimes, you have to make your own rules. However, there are times when you have to do the right thing despite your desire or preference. Even though random hookups might seem subjective, there are some key points to consider, especially if you don't have a guide to follow. It all boils down to common etiquette that most people should know. But, these do depend on personal preferences and your own expectations. Let's look at some insights into this.

Hooking up with someone means that you have to determine both of your intentions and set boundaries and have an understanding before you hookup. In so doing, you will know how to handle the aftermath. Having common courtesy is one of the key things. If the person is going to linger after hooking up for the night, at least offer a glass of water or cup of tea or coffee. Don't try to usher the person out of your home or apartment unless you have already discussed that before. It is important to have a good line of communication open where you should be able to discuss the next move or the obvious. There should be a comfort level established between you.

If one of you is hung over, allow the person to freshen up and feel better before leaving. If you don't want the person to sleep over, then that should be decided from the night before. Don't overstay your welcome, if you are the one staying at the other person's house or apartment. The bottom line is to talk about it before and show kindness afterwards. It is that simple.

In today's society, men and women hook up if they like each other and so it is not unusual to see two strangers have a one night stand, even though, they don't know each other that well. Nothing is wrong with it as long as it is two consenting adults who are making that decision. You have to agree on what you want from the hookup relationship before going into it. Both of you have to be comfortable with your decisions before and after the hookup. If you are going to have sex the first time you hookup with someone, then you have to be okay with it.

Don't let anyone force you into doing anything you are uncomfortable with. However, remember that communication is of the utmost importance to have a good experience. Talk about how far you will go with this.

When it comes to the protocol associated with hooking up, you have to discuss your intentions before going into it. If you just want a one night stand, then you should say so up front. For one night stands, you might not even have to talk about the post hookup rules. In fact, this might not be a priority for either of you. However, this does not mean that you should extend the common courtesy that you would for any other human being. In addition, if you think the hookup seems to be turning into more than you expected, then it could be your emotions propelling you into something deeper with your hookup partner. This could lead to more than just a sleep over and hanging out with each other the morning after. This could involved more communication between both of you.

If you are a guy and you have arranged for a girl to hook up with you at your place, be aware that she may not bring any overnight clothes with her. So, the courteous and polite thing to do is to offer her some comfortable clothes to sleep in such as an oversized T-shirt that you may or may not have yet worn once it is clean. If she doesn't have a ride, you should offer to walk or drive her home on the next day. She will appreciate both gestures and probably won't forget you for it.

When you think about hookup etiquette, personal preference is usually the priority. This can be easily combined with one's intentions. If you are the kind of person that finds enjoyment in sleeping with other people, then you most clearly will be willing to have your hookup partner stay over at your place, at least until the next morning. If you are accustomed to having people like this over, then you will be more open minded, talkative and overall comfortable than someone who always feels a sense of anxiety around strangers. Your attitude and characteristics will play a key role in all this. However, there are situations where you need clear cut guidance.

If you are going to leave early the next morning, then you need to understand the usual rules of etiquette. If you have to leave so you can reach somewhere around 8:30AM and your hookup partner is asleep, don't do the unthinkable of waking them up. However, don't just exit without being courteous enough to leave a message. Find paper and pen and write a short message or send a text to the person's phone. And your actions should be the same, whether this is a new hookup or not. You could lightly nudge the person to announce your exit or just leave them sleeping and do the obvious of sending a goodbye message. Make sure the message says, 'Call me when you wake up.'

If your plans are to stick around after you wake up, then there are ways that you can both enjoy the day or the morning. Once you both wake up, you can break the ice by offering the other person a cool glass of water. Or you can possibly offer a new toothbrush and toothpaste to reduce the dreaded morning breath. In so doing, both you and your post hookup partner can freshen up and ready for the ultimate conversation, if you choose to do so. This is especially true if you are interested in seeing each other again. This is what you would call 'round two,' even if you don't remember what occurred the night before.

After a drunken stupor the night before, then the morning is going to be cloudy. Don't worry about not remembering anything. It is supposed to be that way. Avoid talking about it, if you think you acted stupid. If you have good recollection of the occasion and both of you feel comfortable talking about it, then by all means do so. It will spark added interest, especially if the sex was good. But, don't get gory, if you find that there is some type of discomfort from the other partner, especially, if the performance was not up to par. If it was good, then you will want both want to do it again.

In any event, the hookup code of behavior will depend on the level of comfort for both partners. And this might vary, depending on the situation. For example, if you are a college student and reside in a residence hall or college dorm or even share an apartment or room, then it can get complicated, if you decide to hook up. In these cases, communication is extremely crucial.

It might feel weird to send that text message for the first time after having sex with someone, especially a one night stand. You would think that in such a case where you have seen their private parts, it would be easier to relax and feel comfortable about sending a text message. However, it is not so easy for everyone to reach out. As it relates to post hookup etiquette, you have a few options. You can reach out to the other partner via text messaging. You can choose to wait until you hear from the person too. Waiting is OK because you get the chance to assess the situation and decide whether you want to hook up again, if asked by the other person. You also have a chance to choose someone else, if this hookup goes nowhere. What should be the wait time? Well, it depends on your level of patience and whether or not, you liked the person enough to want to wait to see what happens.

The next thing is to decide what kind of text to send so that you don't appear clingy or seem as if you are stalking the person. Don't make your text too personal as if you have suddenly realized that you are in love. You should tell the other person know how much fun you had with them and indicate your interest for a repeat performance.

If you are invited back to the person's place after sending your text message, you should consider the etiquette rules on how to behave. You must show that you can be a decent person and not just the good lover that you are. For example, make sure you dispose condoms politely. Be sure to know when to leave. And you must contact the person the day after to even thank them for allowing you into their home and into their life, whether momentarily or not.

Don't let the person have to tell you that you should leave. You should make the personal decision and know that you should not overstay your welcome. Be sure to decide beforehand whether you are going to stay the night or not. If you don't spend the night with the person, then it is OK to leave just after you have at least had a discussion on whether you want to do this again or not. Don't just get up and leave after sex. It is not cool. Instead, take time to cuddle after the sex, if it was good. If it wasn't good, then most people think that you can give a good excuse and leave right away. Just let the person know that you will text later and follow through with it. Be somewhat honest by saying that you would prefer to move on because it doesn't look like it will work out.

Don't stay longer than you should or you will overstay your welcome. That would be a huge mistake. Stay for no more than twenty minutes and avoid the long chatter. You don't know what the person is thinking about you so make it short. Call a cab, if you don't have a car. Don't expect the person to drive you home, even though, this may be the right thing for them to do. Take control of the situation. Don't hang around just to have another round of sex. This might not be appreciated unless the person feels the same way.

If the person has a roommate, then it can become even more awkward and you have to know how to handle yourself. Well, a roommate is adult enough to know what is going on. However, be respectful. For example, if you have to go to the bathroom that is shared by the roommate, don't do so without a shirt or blouse on. If you bump into the roommate, give a genuine smile and move on. Don't stop to hold a conversation, especially if this is just a one night stand. Make sure you put the toilet seat down and flush the condom. If you have to take a shower, find out from your hookup partner when is the right time! You don't want to jump in the shower while having the roommate waiting. You don't pay the rent.

The bottom line is to be respectful to each other, don't expect more than what can be provided, be mindful of others around and make yourself as inconspicuous as ever. Show good manners and be courteous at all times.

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