You're finally out of the closet and ready for your first date, so now what? We'll help you get ready!

One of the most exciting things about finally coming out of the closet is going out on your first LGBT date. Likely you've been on dates before but after you come out, it's almost like completely starting over. So in a way, your first LGBT date can feel like a first-first date. Which is to say that they are super duper exhilarating and special! And the one thing you don't want to do is let nerves get in the way of how special that first date can be.

Before we go any forward in this help guide, let's pause for a little celebration! You might be thinking it's not a big deal but we are all about celebrating milestones here at SexSearchCom and this is a major one. It's not so much the date aspect but the fact that you have come out and are finally experiencing and experimenting with the queer lifestyle. Which ultimately means you are living your truest self, AKA your best self! Take a moment to appreciate that. It can be a bit scary at first but overall this should be a really great time in your life.

If you've been living the heterosexual lifestyle for a while, it can be a big step to start dating once you come out. Coming out is a big enough step. Regardless of if you tell dozens of people and have a big hoorah or just tell a few people and don't make it a huge deal, it is still a very big deal to come out. And the first out date is just as big a step because it's more like the action where the coming out was the announcement. With the announcement you were able to be more passive while the first LGBT date is very active - you are actually doing something about your status now!

Even if you have a lot of experience dating, your first out LGBT date can still feel a little overwhelming. In fact, it can feel entirely new. That is perfectly normal, of course. After all, it is your first ever out date. It can definitely be nerve-wracking to step into the world of queer dating for the first time. Often members of the gay community will say that the older they were, the more nervous they were about their first dates. This is because they had been sexually active as heterosexuals for so long it felt strange to be shifting into something totally new.

We just finished explaining that a first out date can be super daunting. However, we also want to say to not worry too much! Yes, it is a big deal and yes it can be scary. But at the end of the day, an out date is still just a date. You don't want to make too big a deal about it or you could unnecessarily stress yourself out, which could potentially ruin your date! So make sure you can find time to relax so you can really enjoy yourself.

Now that we've gone over some of the basic things to think about with your first out date, we'll get into some specific tips. These will help you to really be on your way to having the best first date ever! Some of them seem like common sense and that's because they are! However, it's good to get reminders sometimes, even for common sense things.

Turn off the phone!

You should definitely turn off the phone on your first out date. This is common sense for just about any date or scenario, really. But it's especially important for a first date. You want to be giving your full attention to your date. A phone can be distracting and it can be very tempting to look at. Of course, you will want to keep your phone on you and ready in case of an emergency but try to leave it off so you can full focus on your date. It'll also show your date how serious you are that you are okay with turning your phone off for the entire date!

Don't friend your date on FB before meeting in person.

It can be super tempting to lurk your upcoming date on social media. While it is fun to check them out, we urge you to try to keep it to a minimum. You don't want to learn too much about the person in advance; it could cause you to develop a misconception or judgement about them. But at the very least, definitely don't friend them before you meet them. This is mostly just in case your one date doesn't turn into many dates - then you don't have the awkward situation of having to remove them from your friends list after the fact!

Try not to label or judge in advance.

The queer community is a sensitive one. They have names and labels for a lot of different kinds of gay, like twink or bear. However it is important to remember that you should never ever apply a label on your own. You may be inclined to toss out a remark or make a joke about someone's preferences or orientation but keep in mind that people can be fairly sensitive about labels, especially when they are applied by someone else. The best course of action is to simply refrain from using a label or terminology until you get the OK from your date!

Don't be too nervous!

This is a super important one: don't get too nervous! Yes, a date can definitely be nerve-wracking, but you don't want to let your nerves ruin your whole night. If you are too nervous you might not be able to enjoy yourself or worse: you could potentially ruin the entire date. If you are feeling a little nervous or anxious, try to take your mind off of the date by doing something else. Or, just keep telling yourself that it's a date and it's not a big deal. Another great way to relax is to have a nice hot shower beforehand. The hot water will do wonders for your nerves!

You don't have to say it's your first date.

You may be tempted to disclose that this is your first out date. That is totally up to you! Some people like to tell their date so that they are aware. Or they may even just be excited that they are on their first out date and want to share! However, some people prefer to keep it to themselves because they don't want that to overshadow the date and take away from it. And just like some people have their own opinions about dating virgins, they can have similar opinions about going on a first-time gay date. Some people don't want to be a part of that experience and that is totally okay! The best thing to do is judge the situation for yourself and see how you feel about it.

You decide how far you want to go.

Since this will be your first ever out LGBT date, it may be a good idea to take it slow. However, you may want to go fast too! All that matters is you get to decide how far you want to go. There are no rules when it comes to a first out date. You have nothing to prove. You don't need to do anything you want to do to show your date that you are gay or anything like that. Listen to yourself and your body to figure out how far you want to go! And remember: it is totally okay to change your mind halfway through.

Go somewhere comfortable that you like.

Sometimes the best thing that you can do on a first date is go somewhere familiar. It can be tempting to go to somewhere super fancy and new. However, a new place can create feelings of nervousness or make you more on guard. If you go to a place you visit often and are more familiar with, it can make your night out so much more enjoyable. You won't have to worry about what's on the menu or if you will get lost trying to get there. You will likely be nervous about many things on your big night so if you make what you can familiar, at least there will be less to worry about!

Remember that it's a different dynamic.

If you are used to heterosexual dating, it's probably a good idea to remember that a gay date has a slightly different dynamic. Straight dating often falls into a lot of gender stereotypes: the guy taking charge and often paying for things, the woman playing a more submissive role and just going along for the ride. Even though dating in general is less old fashioned, it's still fairly common to fall into those stereotypes. Gay dating can have it's own stereotypes for sure, but it is not anything like straight dating. There won't be a submissive female and dominant male. Most find this preferable and more relaxing and likely you will too!

Breath mints!

This one is pretty obvious, especially if you are planning on making out or hooking up as the night progresses: bring breath mints! You don't want to be suffering from smelly dinner breath when you go in for a kiss. Or even if you are just talking close. After dinner breath can be really strong! Some people go as far as quickly brushing their teeth in a bathroom with a travel toothbrush but we say a strong breath mint or two is enough!

No exes talk!

It can always be tempting to mention an ex when you're on a date, whether it's to say good things or bad things. It's definitely advisable to avoid mentioned exes on a first date. It can get a little bit awkward or weird and your date might wonder why you are thinking about your exes! But if this is your very first out date, it can seem even stranger because you will be going on about your old hetero lifestyle. This could make your date feel even more uncomfortable and wonder if you are serious about the date.

Be yourself!

This last bit of advice is the most important: be yourself! This goes for almost any situation, but especially a first date. You want your date to get to know the real you so it's always best to try to be yourself as much as possible. Otherwise how will they get to know you? Sometimes we can be afraid of being judged, but it's better than your date finding out that you were misleading them later on. Trust us: you always want to be yourself! You are more interesting and awesome than you give yourself credit for.

And there you have it. We hope the advice in this guide has helped to make you feel ready and excited about your first out LGBT date. It can be a bit nerve-wracking, especially if you only recently came out of the closet, but just remember: after you get over the first date hurdle, it's smooth sailing from there! You'll be diving into the gay dating scene at full force before you know it. We will leave you with one last bit of advice: always stay safe and use protection!

Did we answer all your questions you needed on this subject? If so, then why not check out our other extensive LGBT advice guides by CLICKING HERE?

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