Some people think that it is not OK to hook up with an ex's friend while others think that there is nothing wrong with it. If you are looking at a moral compass, then you might agree with the former. If you are not, then you will know that when you break up with someone, you can do any damn thing you want because you do not belong to anyone. People can date or hookup with anyone that they want, but there are some consequences and outcomes that you might not like. If two people care about each other and are free to engage in an intimate partnership, who should say that two consenting adults cannot do so?

It might not be all that bad to hook up with an ex's friend, if you follow certain guidelines and specific steps. If you don't want to experience the same thing since karma has a way of doing things to you according to the actions you take in life, then you should consider all the parties involved. In so doing, you would approach your ex to talk about your decision. Even though, you don't have to do this, it would be in your best interest and the interest of your ex's friend to take this adult action.

It is important to ask whether you should move forward with this relationship or not since so many emotions are involved. Remember that this friend is still friends with your ex so you don't want to seem selfish or possessive. You don't want to appear to be controlling and just want what you want and not think about other people's feelings. You also don't want to run a good friendship, even if the ex's friend does not care. It will backfire. So, make sure you meet with your ex and let him or her know what is going on. It is kind of asking him or her to give you the blessing of being with the friend. Mind you, this is not mandatory, but it seems to be the right thing.

It takes a lot of guts to hook up with your ex's friend. And that is the reason why you should make sure you are doing it with the right motive in mind. It is not encouraged or recommended that you sneak around on your ex by hooking up with his or her friend in secret. It is better to do it in the open so you don't have to hide your feelings and hide from public view when you are both out and about. However, on the other hand, if you and your ex's friend are only in this to have fun with each other, you don't have to make it known to anyone. You can sneak around and have fun until you decide to end it. You should only expose it when you decide to get into a serious relationship with each other. Any intention of getting serious is going to mean that you have to take a different approach, if you want to lead a normal life.

You not only have to face your ex, but also the friends that you both were associated with while you were together. The other friends were also part of your relationship and so if you are serious with your ex's friend, those friends are going to be impacted and they may not want to choose sides. So, you must have some kind of discussion with them to explain your side of things. Don't want for your ex to tell those friends or they will look at you in a negative light. If you don't face those friends in the initial stages of that relationship, you are going to be forced to face them later and later might turn out to be more difficult.

Is it right or wrong to hook up with your ex's friend? It probably is not something that you should decide on your own. Your personal decision should be based on how much you want to risk upsetting other people that care about you and that you care about. You don't want to have any form of misunderstanding about what you are doing. Your actions might seem as if you don't care about anyone else but yourself and it might seem as if you are selfishly attacking the people you once knew and called friends. If you are going to make the decision to hook up with an ex's friend, then you should be able to look your ex in the eye and say that you are now the new person hooking up with his or her friend. You should also be willing to take the insults, if they come and be OK with it. If you cannot take the insults, then you shouldn't be with your ex's friend. In fact, at that time, you may find out how much you really like or don't like your ex's friend. This means, you won't go to bat for them as it relates to being insulted and embarrassed.

One more thing to consider is breaking the news. If you decide to do so, there isn't a right or wrong way to get it all out in the open. However, you should try to be as sensitive as possible since so many people are involved. You don't want to go out of your way to upset anyone. If your ex's friend and your ex have been friends for a long time, then you are in for drama. This is especially true if they really care about each other. You don't want to be the one to break up that friendship. So, first, you should make sure that when you break the news, you are alone with your ex. You don't want to have your ex's friend there with you or it may get ugly. So tread softly. Lower your voice as much as possible when you are breaking the news. Expect the opposite reaction from what you are looking for. Be calm and focused. Don't be thrown off by any anger coming from your ex. It is natural. Most exes won't be happy that you are hooking up with a friend. So don't be alarmed if you get an angry reaction.

Now, let's get deeper into this thing. Most people break up with their ex for a specific reason. Of course, there are times when you might still be on speaking terms. However, in many instances, exes part ways and never see each other again. If the relationship ended in heated arguments and abusiveness, then you don't owe your ex any explanation, if you don't want to. However, when your ex's friend is the one that you are hooking up with, it changes the dynamics. If you have already had sex with your ex's friend, it gets even worse. If you have shared intimate and steamy sexual encounters, you now have consummated the relationship and your ex may want to know this. Do you kiss and tell or do you keep it on the down low between you and your ex's friend? It is recommended that you don't tell all because it would make matters worse.

Have you ever watched the television show known as "Friends?" if you have or haven't, it is a show where the cast members shared and swapped each other's partners. One of the alarm bells was the time when Kathy who was Joey's girlfriend cheated with the cast member known as Chandler. Chandler and Joey were best friends and so of course, Joey felt betrayed by his friend. Like this same scenario, friendships solidify the bond between two people and when someone comes in and violates it, then it shows a high level of disrespect and dishonesty and mistrust. When you hook up with your ex's friend, it can cause irreversible damage to the long time friendship. There is going to be fallout, if you don't handle it correctly and you cannot make up like Joey and Chandler did in a fantasy television show.

Many people believe that once a boyfriend introduces someone as a friend, that person is off limits, even if the relationship does not last between girlfriend and boyfriend. When the boyfriend or girlfriend becomes the ex, the friend is still going to be friends with the person and so many people think that the 'off limits' rule should still be the same.

Most exes will also think that their friend had always had a 'thing' for the girlfriend or boyfriend while the relationship was active. That could be true and might be a 'sore thumb' that is hard to shake. This would be especially true, if you ran into the arms of your ex's friend as soon as the relationship came to an end. You could never blame your ex for thinking this way, could you? Most of the friends in the group could have those same thoughts too. It might just look too fishy, even if it was not. This could cause a rift between your ex and his friend because your ex would be thinking that his friend must have had the 'hots' for you while you were dating your ex. You are going to have a hard time explaining that this is not the case.

If your ex's friend were to choose the romantic interest he has with you over his friendship, it definitely would impact the friendship of the entire group of friends. You would probably be scorned and ridiculed by the group and so would the ex's friend. So, it would be best to have a 'sit down' with the entire group separately from your ex. You don't want so many people being mad at you.

On the other hand, when you become single and have untied the bond that you had with your ex, you are a free person to do what you want to do. You don't have to lie to anyone about the choices that you make. You don't need a pass from anyone because think about it, you and the ex's friend are consenting adults and can do what the hell you want to do. So from that angle, it would be OK to hook up with an ex's friend. As long as you are comfortable with your decision, you can cut ties with your ex and the group of friends as long as you can live with your decision. Of course, there will be a lot of tension and discomfort, but if you don't mind, then you are the one who has to live with it. If you all live in the same town or community, it can be especially difficult too. However, you have the option to move out of town or out of the community, if you want to start fresh and make the relationship work.

If your ex cannot be happy that you have found someone who is interested in you, even if it's his or her friend, then the reaction is just jealousy, which is quite normal, but does you no good. It is going to be a concerted decision to hook up with an ex's friend. You are the one who is going to be affected and if you can handle the negative impact that you may receive, then all power to you. But, you should acknowledge that your decision is something that might result in discomfort and you must be ready for it. It is best to let your intentions be known publicly, even though, there might be repercussions. The ex's friend must also be prepared for the friendship to change.

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