We are here to answer one of the biggest questions of the gay community: should you come out of the closet?

One of the biggest, and often most stressful, milestones in the queer community is coming out. It's a bit of a bittersweet occasion. On the one hand, a queer person is publicly identifying as queer and living their truth, which is a reason to celebrate. But on the other hand, the only reason they need to announce it in the first place is because heterosexuality isn't just the norm, it's the expectation, and people in the queer community are often harassed, discriminated against, and even assaulted.

We're going to be diving into figuring out if you should come out of the closet by identifying some of the reasons for coming out and some of the reasons against coming out. This is a deeply personal decision so there can't be any right answer. You have to look inside yourself to find out what is the best course of action for you!

First of all, before we dive in, we should definitely go over what the phrase "out of the closet" means and why it is used. When a queer person comes out of the closet, it means that they are revealing to everyone that they are gay. Before coming out, they would have assumed a straight or heterosexual identity. We say "out of the closet" because when something is IN the closet, it means it is hidden from view and nobody knows about it. It's a phrase that is fully accepted by the gay community so you don't have to worry about offending anyone if you use it!

Before we go into some of the reasons for coming out of the closet and for not coming out of the closet, we should say this: no matter what, it is your decision. Do not let anyone else dictate how you should reveal your sexual identity or if you should even reveal it at all. That is a personal decision that you should get to make on your own time. If you are not sure about whether or not you should come out of the closet, that's okay too! While we think that you should only take your own advice at the end of the day, that doesn't mean you can't seek out advice and insights to help inform your final decision.

Trust us when we say there are a ton of good reasons to come out of the closet. Coming out is a big deal and is often celebrated. Of course, coming out always depends on your personal and social situation. If you are surrounded by family and friends who are accepting, then coming out can be a great time to celebrate. Before we get into all of the great reasons to come out of the closet, think about your own life and make sure that all of these reasons are applicable. They might not be and that is okay!

You will be living your truth.

One of the best things about coming out is that you are finally living as your true self. You are no longer pretending to be straight or heterosexual. Nearly every person who comes out of the closet says it mostly feels like a great weight off their shoulders. Often men and women might feel like they've been lying before coming out of the closet. Getting to live as themselves finally makes them finally feel whole and honest. And not only will you know yourself but everyone around you will know the real you too.

Visibility for the queer community is important.

If nobody came out of the closet then the gay community would seem very small and niche. By coming out of the closet, you add yourself to the rich tapestry of the LGBTQ community. You show everyone around you that you are part of the community and are a better person for it. It helps to normalize and make people more aware of LGBTQ peoples and rights. It's also nice in general for members of the gay community to know who else out there is gay too. It creates a nice sense of solidarity.

The youths in the gay community need role models to look up to.

Another great way to strengthen the gay community is to inspire youths. And the best way to inspire youths is to set a good example. A great way to set a good example is to come out of the closet and show that it can be a great and positive thing. By living your best, true life as a gay person out of the closet, you can show gay youths that they can have a bright future and they don't have anything to worry about.

Keeping secrets can really suck!

Let's be real: keeping secrets is the worst! We don't know about you but we hate keeping secrets. Oftentimes, people who are gay might not even realize it for a while. They know something is wrong but they aren't quite able to put their finger on it. But when they figure it out and admit it to themselves, it can be hard to keep it a secret. It's not about shouting it loudly from the rooftops so everyone can here. Rather, it's about being both inwardly and outwardly honest. Once you've been honest with yourself you'l want to be honest with others.

It can cause anxiety.

We just mentioned how keeping secrets can suck in general, but it could also cause some more serious anxiety. It may not seem like a big deal but not living truthfully can have a major toll on a person. It can cause stress, sleepless nights, and anxiety. This is because your mind so desperately wants to let the secret out that it can make it hard to focus on anything else. You can also get worried about accidentally saying the wrong thing to someone or having someone find out before you're ready to tell.

You can have a big coming out party!

This one is a little silly but still just as valid: you can have a fantastic coming out party when you finally come out! We love ay excuse to party but this is hardly an excuse. Coming out and living your truth is the best reason to celebrate, if you ask us! Once you come out to your friends and family, likely you'll all want to celebrate anyhow so a party should definitely be considered. After all, this is a super great occasion that definitely deserves celebrating! We recommend hitting up a dance club for a fun night out!

You will make new friends

Before you come out, you likely won't feel like you are really part of the gay community. But once you do come out, you'll suddenly be a part of it! By coming out, you'll be letting the rest of the gay community in your area know that you are here and queer. This can open the door to a lot of great new friendships and experiences. And, of course, great hookups too! This is an especially valuable reason to come out if you are feeling particularly alone while being in the closet. But don't worry, you won't be alone once you come out!

You will develop new and meaningful relationships.

If you're in the closet but still heterosexual dating, likely the relationships don't feel all that meaningful. You may be going through the motions or just doing it for a cover. Imagine how great it will be when you do come out. You'll finally be able to seek out awesome relationships, whether it's for dating or hooking up or anything and everything in between! One of the best parts about living as your true self is you get to explore new relationships with that true self. And trust us, these relationships will feel like the real deal because you are finally be honest about your sexuality!

You deserve it!

Lastly: you deserve it. Seriously. You totally deserve to live your best gay life. Everybody deserves happiness and it is likely that coming out will not only make you happy, but it will make you feel relaxed finally. Like we mentioned before, not coming out is often stressful and can lead to anxiety. You owe it to yourself to come out so you can finally breathe a sigh of relief! You may not think that you deserve to have a loving and honest life but trust us when we say: you totally do!

We've been talking a lot about great reasons to come out of the closet. While we think it is always a great thing to do, it is not always the best time or the right time to come out. Sometimes you may need to wait. Or other times you may never be able to come out. While we hope that is never the case, there are definitely some legitimate reasons that can keep you wanting to stay in the closet longer.

You're afraid.

Fear is a very good reason to stay in the closet. You may be afraid that your family will disown you. You may be afraid that your friends and colleagues will judge you. You may be afraid of being discriminated against. These are all valid fears, of course, but we do hope that one day you are able to feel better about your fears and face them by coming out. While it may be less scary to stay in the closet, in the long run you will likely regret not coming out.

You're married.

A lot of men realize later in life that they are gay. However, at this point they may have a wife and even have started family. What to do in this situation? Do you tell your family the truth and hope they accept it? And no matter what, even if your partner accepts your new sexual identity, likely your relationship will be ending. That is a big deal and can definitely deter a decision to come out of the closet.

Your religion does not accept homosexuality.

There are many religions out there that do not accept homosexuality or gay people. If you happen to be a person of this faith, it can feel even more difficult and impossible to come out of the closet. You are likely also very eternally conflicted because you want to believe the faith and religion you were raised with, but it doesn't match who you are as a person anymore. And if your own religion doesn't accept you, what does that mean? It can be so tricky to navigate.

You still aren't sure yet.

Another really great reason to stay in the closet is because you just aren't sure yet. There is nothing wrong with still being undecided! And if that is the case then you definitely don't want to come out of the closet if you are just going to change your mind down the road. That can make for a lot of weird and awkward conversations! If you are thinking about coming out but are still feeling a bit unsure, the best thing you can do is give it a little more time.

We hope this guide has been helpful and has outlined some great reasons for both coming out of the closet and staying in the closet. Remember, it is ultimately your decision! No one else can make it for you! We hope everyone reading this is able to find a way to live their best, true life.

Did we answer all your questions you needed on this subject? If so, then why not check out our other extensive LGBT advice guides by CLICKING HERE?

Need to know how to enjoy your first LGBT date? Find out now by reading our article HERE!