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How Much Should You Spend On A First Date?

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First dates can be stressful, and you don't want your date to think that you're a cheapskate. Sexsearch looks at how much you should spend on a first date, so that you can focus on the more important parts of that date, like looking good, being interesting, and giving your date your full attention. The easiest way to figure out how much to spend on a date is to look at your bank account, and figure out an amount that you can spend, without putting yourself into a situation where you're having to curb your spending for the rest of the month. You need to keep in mind as well that if the date goes well, you're going to have a follow-up soon after.

If you spend all of your money on the first date, and then can only afford to go for a 10 piece McNuggets for your second date, you may as well have stayed at home in the first place.

There are lots of different financial situations to look at though, so let's look at some of them more in depth.

Goldilocks And The Three First Dates

Finding the right amount of money to spend on a first date is a lot like the old fairy tale, "Goldilocks and the Three Bears", where a young girl finds herself in the home of a family of 3 bears. She samples each of their bowls of porridge, which are all different temperatures. One too hot, one too cold, and one juuuuust right. After her free meal, she feels a little sleepy, and decides to take a nap in one of their beds. One is too hard, one is too soft, and the other is juuuuuust right. We're maybe getting a little too sexually suggestive with the bed example, but our point is that when it comes to first dates, you can spend too much, too little, or juuuust the right amount. Tastes vary of course, but let's look at the different amounts you can spend, so you can find which budget of first date works best for you.

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Slow Down, Big Spender

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If you've got a lot of money in your bank account, and money is no issue, you should know that money is always an issue; even if it's not in the way you think of it. You can go to one of the most expensive restaurants in the city, and then get front row seats to the hottest show in town, but in finding partners, you'll have to keep how much money they make in mind before asking them out. If you go out with someone in a different tax bracket than you, you'll likely find that your date isn't used to spending as much money on meals or entertainment as you do. They'll probably have a great time on your first few dates, but if your relationship continues, the cost of things that you want to do will very likely be out of touch with what they're used to doing, which can make them feel insecure. It can also at the same time, price their friends out of potential evenings out with your fellow rich friends.

So if you're in a really good spot financially, we encourage you to keep the financial situation of your date in mind when making plans, and bringing your spending down to a level closer to what they're used to. Though the media portrays the world as a place where money can solve any problem, the reality is that though money can solve problems it can just as easily cause problems. So don't go full on fantasy mode where you buy your date a fur coat a week into dating, and calling them your king or queen at every opportunity. Money can be great to have, but it can also be obnoxious if you aren't careful about when you flaunt that you've got it.

Of course there are people out there who're very much into having the nicest things that someone else's money can buy, and being pampered at every turn. If that's your dating style, we hope you're able to find someone who likes you for you who are as well as your money.

Dating On A Budget

Most people don't have an unlimited amount of money to spend on a date; let alone a first date with someone who you might end up not having any connection with, and never go out with again. So it's good to have at least a rough budget when going on a first date. One of the biggest stresses for first dates is definitely being worried that your date isn't going to be happy with the place that you decided to take them, and even worse, that they'll think that you're cheap.

If you're inarguably poor, there's nothing you can do about that, and you're likely used to going on dates with a que sera sera attitude towards whether or not your date thinks that you're cheap. They can think that all they want, but that isn't going to change your financial situation, and the amount that you're able to spend on dates. Similar to the situation we described above with people with a lot of money, the same can happen in the opposite direction on the lower end of the wealth scale, and you might have start putting in your dating profile that you're looking for someone who's also drowning in student loan debt, and thinks that sharing a plate of nachos and a pitcher of beer makes for a great date if the company is good.

If you have some money to spare, and can afford to go out for a reasonably nice date, we want to remind you again that when budgeting, you should keep your second (and possibly third) date in mind when figuring out how much to spend. If you put forth an image of being very comfortable financially on the first date or two, but then are broke when it comes time for your third date, your date will realize that they've been sold a false bill of goods, and they'll begin to wonder what else you've told them or led them to believe isn't true.

Think about how much you spend when you go out for dinner and drinks with your friends. Use that x2 as the lowest amount that you should spend on a typical first date, and then add whatever you think you'll want to spend in addition to that.

Something that we find works very well is taking out almost the amount of money that you've budgeted out to spend on the date. This allows you to keep a physical tally of your spending through the night. So if you go to the bar to get a third or fourth round of drinks, you'll likely be greeted by an empty wallet, which will be let you know that you've almost spent what you intended to spend, and that you're at the point of your date where you can do a quick assessment of how well things are going, and whether or not you think more dates are in your future. If you and your date are both having a great time, you can loosen your purse strings a little bit if the need arises. But if you don't think that there's going to be a date two, you can maybe tell your date that you ran out of cash, and which will allow them the opportunity to buy another round of drinks if they're still having a good time.

Free Fun

If you live in a major city, there's a good chance that on any night, there's going to be something cool going on that's offered for free. It could be a free outdoor movie, a great art opening (there'll probably even be some free snacks and wine there too!),

So long as what you do is actually fun, this will let your date know that you're laid back, aren't obsessed with money, and even if things were to get tough financially in the future, you'd still be able to find and show them a good time. Free activities are usually best combined with something that requires you to buy something, and your date being able to see that you DO have money, but you just don't think it's necessary to spend a lot of it to have a great date. If you're feeling adventurous, and think that your date will be okay with it, challenge yourself to organize an incredible date without spending any money.

The expression, "You get what you pay for" is often connected to free events, since they do occasionally end up being duds. So if you're going the free fun route, be aware of that risk. There's a bright side to going to a show or event and it being a total flop though. If you and your date are still able to have a good time, in spite of the local band you'd heard great things about sounding like a herd of injured cats, it shows a strong connection, and if you're able to have a good time doing something that when taken at face value is unenjoyable, it's a great sign that you could have a long and successful relationship because you only need each other's company to have a good time.

The Rise Of The Coffee Date

Another type of date that's extremely financially friendly, has become more popular and acceptable in recent years. The Coffee Date. What a coffee date says to someone is that they're not looking to spend a lot of time or money on the date, and that they're looking to have a sober conversation, to get a sense of what their date's personality is like without the social lubrication of alcohol that many dates rely on. One thing to be sure of if you find yourself making a coffee date though, is that if you and your date hit it off, you or your date might suggest that you extend the date, which means that you need to bring more than a $10 bill with you, and if you want to come prepared with an idea for where you could go after the coffee shop, you'll look very spontaneous AND decisive.

Brunch dates are also something in the same vein of coffee dates, which are happening far more often than they used to. It used to be that dates only happened at night. The end. No exceptions. The advantages of a brunch date is that you're again limiting the amount of time and money that's being spent. There is SOME social lubrication available if you choose to have a mimosa or caesar though, and provided you don't have any afternoon plans, you can extend the date with a trip to the museum, or catching a movie.

Coffee and brunch dates usually also typically remove any expectation of sex at the end of the date, which takes some pressure off of the date.

No Two First Dates Are The Same

Though it's good to have a sense of what you can or should spend on a first date, the truth is that no two first dates are the same, so the amount that you spend should depends on the people who're going on the date. Whatever you do, don't drain your bank account dry in order to look like a big shot on a first date. It will end up backfiring, and setting up expectations from your date that are unrealistic. We think that the best way to go about planning and budgeting your first date is to figure out what you're most comfortable with spending and doing, because that's going to bring out the best version of you on the date. Your date may think that you're spending too much or too little, but if the goal is to find a connection with a likeminded person, the amount that you spend on a date is actually a pretty good way to find out your compatibility. If your ideas of what makes a good first date aren't even close, it's likely that they won't ever match up.

So we encourage you to consider how much you like the person you're going out with, how much you can afford to spend, and how much you want to spend, then go off into the night and have a great first date!

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How Much Should You Spend On A First Date? - Sexsearchcom.com

First dates can be stressful, and you don't want your date to think that you're a cheapskate. Sexsearch looks at how much you should spend on a first date

How Much Should You Spend On A First Date? - Sexsearchcom.com