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About Me: So I am sitting in my ole lady's single wide as I write this profile. Perhaps I should mention that my "relationship Status" is a bit complicated since my five babes' Mama ran off with a convict. I would have married her if the law allowed you to marry you kinfolk. So we just stayed engaged. I am pretty picky guy, so you have to meet some high qualifications. First, I am getting tired of changing diapers -- so you had better know how. Second, you got to have the street smarts to exchange food stamps for liquor and dope. Third, you had better be a looker. You can't look like you starred in "The Hills Have Eyes" or "Deliverance" cuz I'll be looking for the back exit of the beer joint we will be meeting at. Me? Well I'm fun, sexy, honest...blah blah blah...all the things you want to hear. My best features are my face, head, torso, hands, feet, legs, arms, front, back and sides. If I were a girl I'd date me, fall madly in love with me, couldn't get enough, and stalk myself. You are lucky because I am a Licensed Professional. Thats right. I took a rigorous two hour course and became a licensed hair dresser's assistant. I am just looking out for our future babe! So I'm not as dumb as I look. IExcept for the voices in my head, my medications are working fine. Naturally, I need to self medicate from time to time with a little crystal meth. I’m just so happy I escaped from that psyco ward….whewwww I’m free to date you now. Reel me in, you'd be ONE in a million. The other "999,999" didn't mean a thing to me! Trust me on this. I am not looking for a one night stand, I want a one life stand. Yea, thats the ticket. man, I just love blind dates!! To see a woman’s mouth drop when she gets an eyeful of my toothless grin makes me all warm inside. I will even show up with a $50 engagement ring in case we hit it off. Looking for my future ex.. No LOSERS need to apply. P.S. I love you!!!!
