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About Me: On a first date: I will not put out, although, upon cessation of said date I will envision your hands and mouth all over my cock. We may discuss this in the future, if I decide you're worthy of more conversation. In an effort to further my not-putting-out goal, I will not bathe and will wear mis-matched socks. Just remember this if you respond to this ad, we go out, and you are having dirty thoughts over dinner. HE DID NOT SHOWER/MISMATCHED (just repeat it to yourself. You may be surprised how quickly you'll be turned off) I will engage you in conversation, perhaps shock you with hilarious stories of my past. I may use "big" words, and I refuse to dummy down for anyone. I will make you laugh, assuming you have a brain and the personality to "get it". I won't order a salad, nor will I order the most expensive entree. If I am hungry, I will eat. I may call you the following day. I may not. On the second date: I may, in fact, put out. Why? Because I find few people meet/exceed my expectations enough to be granted a second date. I promise to shower and be very clean. We will discuss the ridiculous happenings in both of our worlds since the last time we spoke. I may ask you to leave following copulation; However, knowing that you most likely want to "snuggle" I might do so. I'm a real man, I do not know at the present time how I will feel/react after sex. Now, here's where the prospect pool will thin accordingly... YOU MUST BE of the female persuasion(NO TRANNYS) funny loquacious driven single (that means there's no way your husband will find out) under 41 over 21 drug/disease free (everyone knows you can tell if someone has AIDS by looking) sarcastic well-mannered, (for appearances/perception) able to leave work at work. this implies employment educated (beauty school and diesel college do not count) NOT AN AUDIO ENGINEER/SINGER-SONG WRITER/OTHER MUSICAL FAILURE act like a lady.